Going, going...gone?
7 May, 2009 -
As a leading bidder on an auction these are sweet words, but not so much when these words refer to children and youth who have been attending our churches. As pastors and leaders who invest our lives in the local church this gets very discouraging and somewhat painful. What is going on?
There is no simplistic answer, but we do know one of the keys relates to the family. The family unit is being pulled apart from various directions; a high divorce rate, consumerism, materialism and an ever increasing pace of life is talking its toll on families. Satan is strategically and methodically attacking the family unit because he knows that by destroying families, he can cause hurt, pain and alienation that will keep people away from God and the church for generations. As churches we have responded by investing resources to create programmes that connect the children and youth with God. We are working tirelessly to ensure that we provide opportunities that are relevant and engaging. Yet our young people still walk away. I am not saying that what we have been doing is fruitless, certainly not; however there is still a piece that we are missing?
In evaluating the success of our ministries we tend to look at the actual event, asking how many people came? Did they enjoy it? Did the message get across? We also ought to be asking what are people going do think, feel, or do as a result of what they have experienced? How will this impact life in the community and at home?
We know that during a week more hours are spent in the home than any other place. Surveys by George Barna and others have identified that parents are still the most influential people in the life of children and youth (either positively or negatively)! Studies have also revealed that prayer, Bible reading and faith talk isn’t taking place in most Christian families. Fewer than 10% of parents who regularly attend church have any faith conversations, read the Bible, pray (other than grace at mealtimes), or take part in some form of service with their family. Living out faith in the home is almost nonexistent. There seems to be little transference between what happens at church and what happens at home.
If home is more influential than the church, shouldn’t we focus more of our time, energy and resources on what takes place at home rather than church? Perhaps the most important question we can ask is this, “how much time, energy and resources are we investing to make the home a primary place where faith is nurtured?” Let’s not confine our thinking of home being a place just for Mum, Dad and children. Home is
the place of your dwelling, whether a person is flatting, in a retirement village, or even a nursing home.
More churches today are identifying the need to strengthen families so appoint a staff person, or volunteer with the title “Family Pastor”. Their job description often includes creating events for families. There are benefits to events; however there is also the danger that we are systematically taking people out of their homes to do additional activities attending programmes. I get concerned because we have already identified that people are over scheduled, so we add to the problem instead of addressing it. eg “Come and play games at a church games night” rather than raise the value of playing together at home. What might this look like, what are some choices, what is the “win” here?
I wonder what would happen if rather than adding another ministry with a programme mindset, Family ministry meant reviewing all ministry areas that presently exist, asking; “How will this impact home life?
How can we include a home or family focus to existing events and life milestones? Is there some additional equipping we can wrap around baby dedications? What about when children start school or at various other growth and development stages. How are we assisting our oung people who are flatting to live out their faith in their home? Is this a strategy in our churches or does it just happen? When we wear tinted glasses everything we see has that tint. I wonder if we looked at our churches through family ministry lenses, would we make different choices? If by strengthening our home life to bridge the present gap between home and church will that make it harder for our kids to walk way from their faith? Maybe we ought to “Go and make disciples ....., in your Home, Community, City and Country.”
Margaret Spicer
Executive Director
WCANZ
